Death has the ability to de-centre us. It knocks us off our normal equilibrium and undermines our stable foundations. It can do so in its magnitude, when thousands die or are killed for no reason we can fathom. More often, it does so when one light blinks out of our lives very nearby, leaving us with more darkness than before, unanswerable questions and a keen sense of what’s left behind.
I had the honour of duty to help a group of mourning family and friends say goodbye to someone this past weekend. I can’t shake the feeling that has plagued me for two weeks now that my core is misaligned. This is one of those occasions where the single life lost so close to you dwarfs the conceptual notion of thousands of deaths somewhere far away. After jealously guarding my composure throughout the service, often by not listening to the moving words of others, I let that off-kilter middle of mine wash over me and briefly felt the loss as intensely as anything I ever feel.
39. Dedicated father of one and a second expected within the month. Kind, gentle, patient, athletic, funny, and blessed with a smile that seemed to contain a nice thought just for you; my friend Wain is gone too soon.
He, I was reminded, was a fan of the show The Wire; a show I have come to love in a very childish way, which is the only way to love a very good TV show – jealously, like chocolate ice cream, in inexplicably large doses and somewhat clandestinely. In being reminded that he was also a fan, I realized how long it had been since I’d seen my friend because we had never fully discussed my own love of The Wire, which only came to bloom over the summer. Recently, we had missed many of our usual occasions to visit when we might have huddled off in the corner to gossip about McNulty, Bunk, Omar, the Barksdales, the Stanfield crew and the city of Baltimore. I would have told him how absolutely giddy I was to see settings from The Wire when I visited the city for a conference in June. I know he would have had insight into the show that I had never considered, especially about the soundtrack of the show. I’m sorry to have missed that conversation among the many unknown conversations I will now miss.
On The Wire, when one of the good guys passes, his colleagues get together to send him off with a proper police wake and The Song. Wain deserves The Song. Not many exemplify what a good guy is as well as he did. He is remembered. He is missed.
The Body of an American
The Cadillacs stood by the house
And the Yanks they were within.
The tinker boys, they hissed advice,
“Hot wire with a pin.”
And we turned and shook, as we had a look,
In the room where the dead man lay.
So Big Jim Dwyer made his last trip
To the shores where his fathers lay.
But fifteen minutes later we had our first taste of whiskey,
His uncle’s giving lectures on ancient Irish history.
The men all started telling jokes,
And the women they got frisky.
By five o’clock in the evening
Every bastard there was piskey.
Fare thee well gone away
There’s nothing left to say.
Farewell to New York City boys,
To Boston and PA.
He took them out with a well-aimed clout,
And they often heard him say,
I’m a free born man of the USA.
He fought the champ in Pittsburgh
And he slashed him to the ground.
He took on Tiny Tartinella
And it only went one round.
He never had no time for Reds,
For drink, or dice, or whores.
But he never threw a fight,
Less the fight was right,
So they sent him to the war.
Fare thee well gone away
There’s nothing left to say.
With a staunchy joe and an erin go
My love’s in amerikay.
They’re calling out the rosary,
Spanish wine from far away.
I’m a free born man of the USA.
This morning on the harbour
When I said goodbye to you,
I remember how I swore that
I’d come back to you one day.
And as the sunset came to meet
The evening on the hill,
I told you I’d always love you, I always did,
I always will.
Fare thee well gone away
There’s nothing left to say.
But to say adieu to your eyes as blue
As the water in the bay.
To Big Jim Dwyer, the man o’war,
Who was often heard to say,
I’m a free born man of the USA.
I’m a free born man of the USA.
I’m a free born man of the USA.
